You might occasionally wake up in the middle of the night feeling frustrated and angry.
The “proximate cause” for these emotions could be anything. Did you read upsetting news before bed? Did you have a negative interaction during the day — which, even if it was resolved, still weighs on your mind? Honestly it doesn’t matter. You woke up In A Mood.
The difficult thing about being awoken by a mood is that your brain is working against you right now. Memories are linked in your mind by the features they share. You might be frustrated and angry about something which you rationally understand to be a small matter, but now frustration and anger are “activated”, so in comes a flood of angry thoughts and memories. Something your boss did, two jobs ago. Fascism at home. Genocide abroad. A specific interaction with police five years ago. Something (so many things) that you read on the internet. Any of a million vignettes recalled from childhood.
As these recollections parade through your mind, keeping you awake, the features they share become more active. Shame and embarrassment? Seething rage? More unpleasant thoughts flow and you’re stuck in a feedback loop — and it’s hard to get out, laying in bed in the dark in the middle of the night.
Remember your tricks! Focus on your breathing first. Shift your awareness into your whole body. Or maybe take your awareness out of your body entirely. And as they come, let the thoughts pass without hanging onto them, like watching small clouds roll across a great big sky. These approaches usually suffice.
When they don’t, you might need to cut your losses and sacrifice your sleep (at least for a few hours but probably for the rest of the night). Choose a fun or interesting book to read from the small stack on your nightstand. Or maybe write this post for your gemlog. It’s going to make for a rough day, but being sleepy all day is better than absorbing the psychic damage of staying angry for several hours of the night. Right?